Shoe's make the man
by spicygurl
Summary: Ponyboy is curious to find out if something he read in his book, is true. He decides to test the theory and when Soda finds out what he's doing, he tests the theory himself. M for language. "big feet, big meat; the bigger the size, the bigger the prize"


**A/N: Just another random one-shot. I was just writing to write. I had to releave some writers block. R&R!!! NO FLAMES!!!**

Soda POV

I walked in the house and plopped onto the couch next to Ponyboy.

"How was the movie?" Pony asked. He had his nose in a book and I could tell he didn't really care, but I answered anyway.

"It was alright, I guess."

Pony sighed and looked up from the page he was on. He was thinking deeply about something. Seconds later, he snapped out of it and went back to his page.

"What're you reading there, Pone?" I asked him.

His head snapped up. "Huh? What? I'm-it's... Call me when dinners ready!" He yelled taking giant steps to our room.

I glanced at Darry with a confused look and he mirrored it with a shrug. I stared at the door of the bedroom Ponyboy walked in a few moments ago and was figuring on going to talk to him when the front door opened. In walked Dally followed by by Johnny and Steve.

"What's up guys?" I asked.

"Wait til you see Two-Bit, man!" Steve yelled amused. Two-Bit came loping in seconds later and my mouth dropped. There was a huge purple bruise on his left cheek and blood was on the front of his shirt.

"What happened?" I asked.

Two-Bit started to explain. "I got jumped by a big group of angry Socs. They were vicious and they each had a blade, so I didn't want to do anything stupid. But-"

Steve cut him off. "When you say 'big group of angry Socs' do you mean Kathy?" Steve asked, earning a mean glare from Two-Bit. "And when you say 'blades' do you mean Kathy's bare fists?"

Me and Darry both cracked up along with the rest of the gang, excluding Johnny and Two-Bit that is. "Holy crap, Two-Bit! You got that shiner from a girl?" I asked through howls of laughter.

"Shut up, Curtis." He grumbled, and sat down on the couch. Just then Ponyboy came out of his room. He silently walked next to Darry and put his foot up against Darry's. He stared at it for a minute, said something to himself then walked over to Johnny. He put their feet up against each other and nodded to himself then walked over to Two-Bit. He did the same with him then walked over to me.

As he lined our feet up I asked, "Ponyboy, what are your doing?"

His face turned red as he looked up at me. "Nothing." Then he turned to walk back to his room. This time I followed him. I jammed my foot in between the door and the frame, before he could close it.

"What's going on, Ponyboy?" I asked firmly.

"Nothing." He mumbled.

"Bull crap, Pony!" I yelled as I pushed the door open. "Tell me what's on your mind. Talk to me. I want to help you out." I plopped on the bed and looked at him. "Tell me what's wrong Ponyboy." I begged once more.

He sighed and sat down beside me. "I'm... curious." He said.

"About?"

"...Stuff..."

"Stuff like what?"

"Well...I read in this book that...you can tell a boys'...size by how big their foot is."

I smiled at him as his face reddened, again. "Really? I didn't know that." I really didn't. I guess I would if I picked up a book every once in a while...

Ponyboy coughed nervously and I looked at him. "So you were measuring up against everybody else to compare yourself to them?" His blush darkened, and he nodded. "Well what did you _observe_?"

"Well...you, Darry and Two-Bit are...bigger than me. And Johnny's a few pennies smaller." I laughed, I couldn't help it. Ponyboy stood up and glared down at me.

"Thanks for the help, Sodapop. I'll be sure to come to you when I have another problem so you can laugh in my face." He said sarcastically and turned to leave.

"No! Ponyboy, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! Look, I understand what you're going through. We all went there at one point in our lives; wanting to...grow up so badly, but you have to wait. Everyone will get there at one time or another. Don't worry about falling behind, okay?"

"Okay." Ponyboy said.

"Come on." I smiled, "Dinners ready."

3

2

1

Everyone stayed for dinner that night and I couldn't help but test this new theory myself.

"Hey, Two-Bit?" I asked.

"Yeah, Soda."

"What size shoe do you wear?"

"Um, 15 I think." He answered a little caught off guard.

"What about you Steve?" I asked.

"Same." I nodded.

"Darry?"

"21?" He said. I looked over at Pony who was staring into his lap.

"Hey, Johnny, what about you?" I continued anyway. This stuff was very interesting to me.

"Um...13." Johnny whispered, I barely heard him though.

"And you Dally?"

Dally cocked an eyebrow at me and answered my question with one of his own. "Why don't you just ask me how big my dick is?" Everyone chocked on what they had in their mouths and looked at me. I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed but everyone else's faces were glowing red.

"Because I didn't think that was appropriate for dinner table conversation." I said.

"What's the meaning of this Soda?" Darry asked me, once his windpipe cleared up.

"Well, I learned...somewhere, that a guys shoe size tells how big he is." I explained.

"What?" Dally asked. "Y'all ain't never heard of that down here? The bigger the feet, the bigger the meat; the bigger the size the bigger the prize." He quoted. When nobody answered he went on. "That was real big in New York. You couldn't get a broad if your shoes weren't big enough. Sometimes guys bought shoes four sizes up or wore their dad's to get a good lay."

"Did you do that?" Johnny asked his hero.

Dally answered with a smirk. "No. I didn't need to." Johnny's face quickly turned red and he went back to eating the warm spaghetti on his plate.

"I don't know why you're asking, everyone one here knows I'm the biggest in that department." Two-Bit said, proudly.

"Really?" Steve asked. "Cuz that's not what Kathy told me last night!" Everyone errupted in laughter, and Two-Bit hopped up on the table.

"I don't think so, Buddy." Darry said to him.

"I'll show ya!" Two-Bit yelled fidgeting with the buckle of his belt.

"Aw, come on Two-Bit. We don't wanna see that!" Steve yelled covering his eyes.

He finally unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down. I caught a glance as I covered my eyes. "Gross Two-Bit!" I yelled. Even though I'll have to admit, he was rather large.

"Yeah," Two-Bit cheered. "Who's the big man on campus now?"

"Anybody but you Two-Bit!" Darry said in a disgusted voice.

"Amazing." Ponyboy whispered from beside me. I peeked up at him and he was staring at Two-Bit's junk. "It is true."

**A/N: Bad place to end a story, I know. R&R!!!**


End file.
